my tribe.

do you have a tribe of women in your life? 

i believe there are seasons in our lives when we can feel friendless & lonely. when luke & i first moved to arkansas, i felt so alone & disconnected from our amazing community in missouri. in missouri, i was just a bike ride away from a coffee date with a girlfriend or dinner with our favorite couples.

our life looks very different now. we live miles away from town, our schedules aren't as flexible as they used to be & it feels like we are busier than ever. i still crave that deep connectedness, though-- that kind of connectedness with friends that a husband or partner simply can't fill. 

after nearly three years, i am finally able to say that i have found my tribe. we work out together, we share coffee together, we cry together, we encourage together & we eat together.

i recently participated in a group at church that was centered around meal planning, budgeting & the enjoyment of food in community. week after week, a small group of us women shared one of the most intimate parts of our lives- our food story. we exchanged recipes & our food practices. we re-organized our fridges & worked on breaking some unhealthy habits. we planned meals & leaned on each other for financial accountability. at the end of our group, we shared a meal, good conversation & friendship. we are all so different, from our personalities to our seasons in life, yet we come together with a love for food. 

i've also started scheduling weekly coffee dates with my tribe. these women are amazing. i am so thankful that i get to share a cup of coffee with them for an hour each week. we talk about the big life stuff & the small beautiful stuff. this has been a big life-changer for me. 

of course, these kind of relationships, like all relationships, take work. it requires a bit of time & effort, but it's absolutely worth it. living life with women who get you & you get them is like a breath of fresh air. i am so thankful to have this tribe of connectedness.

if you're struggling to find or create your tribe, here are some suggestions:
+ invite a handful of women to coffee // this is an inexpensive way to get out of the house & around a table with women.
+ don't search for the perfect women to be your friends // i know this suggestion might sound crazy, but i have found myself only wanting to be friends with girls who had the same convictions or preferences as i do. life is about learning from others & what better person to learn from than a friend who is different but near & dear to you?
+ difference is good // a lot of my girlfriends have children. i am the youngest in my tribe of girlfriends who are in their late 20s to early 40s. i have learned so much from these seasoned women & their wisdom has been invaluable to my life. 
+ plan a potluck // this is a great way to have a delicious meal & not put too much pressure on the hostess. invite a group of women to your house, share in the responsibility of the meal & open a bottle of wine. good conversation will happen, i promise.
+ experience a shared interest together // join a book club or yoga class together. go for weekly walks or bake together. find shared interests with women & set aside time to do them regularly. this will create a connectedness that will lead to deeper friendships.

most of all, love & serve people fiercely & it will be returned to you. 


Mechelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mechelle said...

this post is right on time. i moved hours away from my family and friends and have been incredibly lonely lately. i need to find/create a new tribe.. thanks for confirming this. much love

Lori McFarlane said...

You are so very wise! I'm in the same boat you were in, moved away from an awesome community to a more rural place far away. Making friends IS hard. I love your suggestions.

Holly said...

It was so fun sharing our secrets and talking about BIG stuff!

Angela Spencer said...

I left my "tribe" back in Atlanta and I've been trying to find one here in Arkansas. It's been really hard for me, but I think when TK and I find a church to join it will be easier. Thanks for the encouraging words.

Anonymous said...

"I recently participated in a group at church that was centered around meal planning, budgeting & the enjoyment of food in community"

Did you use a curriculum for this? Book? Would love to hear more about the group.


Kait Mauro said...

This was a beautiful post to read, thank you for this.

elizabeth said...

Beautiful touching post, I need to do more to find my own tribe

I would love to hear more about the group that discussed meal planning, budgeting and food in community

Susan said...

Yes, I love the women in my life! Love your ideas and need to make this more of a priority. So glad I stumbled upon your IG feed. Good stuff here, Girlie!

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