our story of marriage counseling

this month marks six years of marriage under our belt.

in the thick of college, just barely in our 20s, we committed to a lifelong partnership. we've done some serious growing up together. once we graduated, luke watched over me as i suffered through the most difficult year of depression. in year three, i was a listening ear & shared words of encouragement when luke lacked passion in his work & felt directionless.



in the trenches of year four, we struggled the most. we were new to owning a farm, i was frustrated at work, luke was working terribly long hours & he was in the thick of his first year of grad school. we never saw each other & when we did, we argued.

week after week, i cried for even the briefest relief from our exhausting schedules & ragged state. we craved the connection we once had, but we lacked the tools to communicate that to one another. late one night, at the end of our straw, we agreed to ask for professional help.

friends, marriage counseling was the best decision we have ever made.

it's taken me two years to sum up the courage & share our story in this space. 

be it the pressures of others or our self-imposed expectations, we believe that if our marriages aren't perfect, they are doomed to fail. we experience so much good in our partnerships yet we were afraid to admit the ugly parts. we can all agree that marriage is hard, but when we're faced with the difficulties of our relationships, we shy away from the rough edges & ultimately miss out on a deeper level of intimacy. over coffee & g-rated conversations with our girlfriends, we skimp on the nitty gritty for fear of judgement. 

friends, decorating tips are fun & living on a budget is good, but the reason we are here is for a deeper connection, a rallying cry that says we are not alone.

my ultimate hope is that sharing our story makes you feel brave & encourages you to take action. 

walking into that room with it's box of kleenex & an old man at a desk was easy. breaking down our walls, really learning to listen & forgiving one another was the hardest part. and as it always does- it got much harder before it got easier, but friends, it is always worth it.

that stranger of an old man soon became our wiser, more seasoned friend with so much for us to learn. he taught us marital tools to use when the going gets tough, challenged us & always encouraged us. he equipped us with a better understand of ourselves & how we each fit into our relationship. he reminded us that we should never be embarrassed of our journey but celebrate our willingness to fight for a healthy marriage.

friends, there's hope. 

we will never be perfect at this marriage thing, but we're celebrating how far we've come. year six, you were such a good one. and when we're in the trenches once more (because we know we will be), we'll have the insight to share our honest story & the tools to fight for us.

love,

natalie