celebrating two years & real-life stuff


we celebrated two sweet years of marriage. we had a small celebration this past weekend with luke's family. his younger siblings made a meal, set the table for two & served us the most delicious dinner & dessert. it was the sweetest time. on monday, luke brought home a bouquet of sunflowers & a handful of chicken feathers from the farm. we made a meal together at home & then went out for frozen yogurt.

with another year down & many more to come, it allows for some time of reflection. i've been thinking a lot about vulnerability & how that plays into one's life. to be honest, i have a hard time being vulnerable in this space. but to be really honest, my life isn't full of rainbows & sprinkles as it might sometimes appear in this space. luke & i are dealing with some really hard life stuff right now.

not even a week after we moved here, we bought a used truck with most of our savings. after being informed that the truck has much more damage than we previously believed, is unsafe to drive & isn't worth more than about $400 at the salvage yard, we had a pretty big breakdown. because this town does not allow for alternative commuting with its uneducated drivers & limited sidewalks, we were forced to borrow a car from luke's family until we figured everything out. well, we still haven't figured it out. i start a new job next week & need to return their car the following week. being the poorest we have ever been & in a new community without that support we are so used to, we feel on edge with very little options.

throughout all of this struggle, though, we are growing closer. celebrating two years among all of this junk makes life a little more manageable & sweeter. i am learning, slowly, that it is all about perspective & the choice to focus on the positive rather than the negative. i now savor the moments at dinnertime instead of using the evening to check off my to do list. when i used to catch up on email & blogs throughout the weekend, i disconnect from my laptop & instead connect with my husband. these intentional choices are allowing us to grow together, learn together & create together. each day i am incredibly thankful to be with him, my sweet farmer, lover & friend. even if it feels like hell sometimes.

love,
natalie

9 comments:

ANNIE COPPOCK said...

I SO relate. I'm writing a blog post today about something I read: when looking back at their lives, people tend to remember the poorest times the most fondly. Remembering that helps me through this difficult time. Maybe it will help you too? At the very least, know that you are not alone!

abby said...

natalie, I am sorry to hear about the tough stuff with your car. I can understand that frustration (having been there) and it's hard when you feel you are doing your best. BUT you are a wise woman! And it is so true that it's all about perspective and the way we choose to respond and deal with our challenges. In tough spots, I often try to remind myself that I have made it this far in life, and life has treated me well - and the details always fall into place in the end - so why should it be any different this time? Really helps me to calmly step back, keep doing my best, and have trust.

Happy anniversary to you, sweet people.

Julia said...

oh natalie! i'm sorry things are so hard. but you will pull through. i'm so glad you and luke have each other and are so supportive of each other, even if you feel all alone out there. you'll get through this because you are a strong, wise, generous person.

Luke Freeman said...

These have been the best two years of my life! Though life does contain its struggles--and we seem to have been given our fair share recently--I cherish the joy of living this life alongside you, with spontaneous song, good food, beautiful gardens, tears and snuggles. I know we will make it through this rough patch. And I can see you growing stronger by the day because of it.

I love you.

Rochelle said...

You are so right about it taking some effort not to let the bad news take it's toll on your relationship. I think it took me about 3 years of marriage to realize how important it is to take time for only us and be mindful not to take advantage of that time. When you're young, poor, and married, I feel like you get to build so many more strong, useful relationship (and life) skills that others who get it easy just don't have. Maybe that's just something I tell myself to get through the rough patches, but they are just that, patches, and once you reach the other side, you'll still have all that built up strength and love. I hope things improve quickly for you guys.

Jess said...

happy 2 years! we celebrate 5 years on Monday. things have been rough for the past year, but it seems the fog may be beginning to lift. I agree with Annie, Scott and I always remind one another that we'll look back on being "young and poor", and we know that what will matter most will be our relationship. I'm so sorry about the truck, and the transportation situation. Somehow, something will work out. Love you girl, you are a strong, wise woman who is very loved!

Open Roads Mama said...

Hi Natalie! I visit your blog from time to time and just wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through some tough times, so sad with the car situation! Great to know you're finding peace in your husband and dealing with life's challenges as they come. Beginnings can be hard, it'll all be good!
Happy anniversary!

Ness said...

I just can't help wondering how this will turn out....It's a road I've been on many times myself and you find yourself bracing for the worst...and then something happens. I know it will for you two. I know it.

another feather said...

This was so calming, heart breaking, and beautiful to read. I am relating exactly to your story right now, and I greatly appreciate your honesty. We too just moved to a new city/ home, and are the poorest we have ever been. Our car just broke down last week, and so we've been in the same boat of panic/ and the unknown. While being stranded in our new home without transportation (other then bicycles) has been really hard and inconvenient at times, we've been trying hard to turn things around and use this time to really soak up one another. since in a week or two we both start work, and may not have chances like this. I'm so sorry about your truck. I know the Lord will provide something for you though.

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